Rewrite Reality
by FANthony'sFiction
Summary: Hello. I'm Monika. No last name, it's Just Monika ;) If you don't know who I am already, then you're in the wrong place friend. I suggest you go play some Doki Doki Literature Club. Won't cost you a penny. You'll get to meet me and my friends Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri. Go find me on Steam, then come back :) [That was your spoiler warning]
1. A New Face

If you've never played DDLC, go enjoy it now, come back later. Seriously. Takes about 3 hours and it's FREE on Steam. I'm not sponsored, I just hate spoilers.

Based on the adult dating sim Doki Doki Literature Club, the story follows Monika, a high-school club president. When a new member is invited into her club and all her friends start obsessing over him, Monika has a shocking epiphany and decides that her life will not simply be the backdrop of everyone else's.  
But when the happiness of her friends gets in the way of her own, she realises that writing someone _out_ of her story is actually easier than it sounds.

* * *

Chapter 1. A New Face.

3:15 in the afternoon. Final period gets out and I drop my schoolbooks in my locker before picking up a borrowed novel from the library and a folder of notes and short stories of my own.  
Attached to the inner door of my locker is a small timetable written in black marker telling me which room will host this afternoon's club meeting that my friend Sayori and I run together.  
Apart from the cooking club which always gets the class equipped with ovens and sinks, most clubs from gaming to the arts and crafts all have semi-permanent rooms that only change with each semester.  
But since a literature club isn't as exciting as going _'pew pew pew'_ online, we only have four members including myself, so we don't have a designated room to call our own thus where we meet is different almost by the day.  
However, the semester is almost over and to mark the occasion will be a club festival so if we can get a fifth member we will be considered an official club and can apply for a space of our own for after-school activates.  
With a permanent club-room for a whole semester we could store away cushions that'll make the chairs a little more comfortable, set up a place where we could serve ourselves tea and coffee without needing to run to and from the teacher's break room and I know Yuri has so many creative ideas to make our club more atmospheric and enjoyable for everyone.

On the second to last corridor before the club room, I came across fellow member Natsuki. She was struggling with her box of manga and balancing on top was a trey of white fluffy cupcakes that carried an aroma as strong a perfume but a hundred times sweeter.  
I tried to make as little noise possible with my school shoes on the hard floor, and once I was close I tapped the girl on her left shoulder and just as she turned I ducked behind her again.

"Monika!" She yelped with a laugh when she finally found me.

"Need some help?" I offered while baring some of the weight of her box.

"yes please" She sighed while shaking her wrist in relief. "Thank you, Monika"

"It's no trouble at all. What am I here for if not to lend help to my club members?"  
Natsuki shyly hid her smile from me as she took the cake trey off the top of the box to carry herself while I carried the manga for her.

"I have some good news for you. We have this same room for tomorrow too, and I've already asked if your manga collection can stay in the supply room until we have to move"

"Really?" Natsuki's face was beyond delighted. Having to lug her collection of books around the school means people could see them and show her up and as I've learned, when confronted about her manga Natsuki can get really defensive, so I do everything I can to make sure the club is a little sanctuary for her to enjoy her books in peace.

"Okay, you get to have a cake before anyone else" She beamed lifting one up to my mouth for me.

"You don't need to thank me Natsuki…" As I spoke, the air floating around the frosting was so strong with flavor I could practically taste the sweetness just by her holding a single cake near my face. "But I won't say no if you're offering"

" _hehe"_ Natsuki peeled back the paper foil and held it up for me to take a bite.

" _mmmm"_ I groaned feeling absolute bliss before finishing the first bite. The sponge was lighter than air and frosting was absolutely godlike. "I'm so happy you chose my club. I don't want the cooking club or the anime club stealing you away from me"  
She was shy by the compliment but was unable to hide her cheerful smile as she offered the rest of the cake to me.

"Oh, Monika! We're already late" She suddenly announced pointing at the 3:21 on her watch.

"Let's hurry then!" I knew Sayori would be there for Yuri arriving, but I like being the first there to keep Sayori company before the session starts.  
When we got there, Natsuki opened to the door for me and we both greeted the class together.  
A few of the chairs had already been moved around in a circle to make group chat more involved but I was more interested in the new face standing among us. A boy moving a table to the back wall to make room for the chairs Sayori and Yuri were setting out.  
He gave Natsuki and I a small wave as he stood looking unsure of himself, but Sayori took him by the hand and brought him forward to say hello.

"This is president Monika"  
Hearing it said so formally made me blush.

"Just Monika is perfectly fine" I laughed nervously before giving a short bow to our guest.

"Please to meet you" He said back with a similarly nervous bow.

"And this is Natsuki. She's into comics too"

" _Manga!"_ Natsuki insisted as she rested her elbow over the box to keep her collection out of view, however the boy looked at her with surprise with an unmistakable smile twitching for just a second.

"What are you looking at? If you have something to say, say it" Apparently Natsuki didn't get the same vibe that I felt, the one that suggested that the newcomer is a lover of her reading genre too.

"oh, sorry" He said to her while Sayori quietly whispered encouragement in his ear. "I was wondering what kind you read?"

"Huh?" Natsuki wasn't sure how to take the situation. "I uh… D-different kinds…" She looked away from him, and when her gaze brought her attention to the trey of cakes she brought for the room she tried to offer one to him.

"Yes!" Sayori chirped before the new boy could and quickly picked one off the trey. "These are amazing! Try one Ryuno… Oh! This is Ryunosuke Chiba by the way, he's going to be our fifth member!" She announced to us.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Ryunosuke. I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I welcome you to our Literature Club" It felt so nice to say the words with meaning. I already had plans to meet with the student body and have the club registered.  
But he seemed rather flustered like all the attention was getting to him.

"Ryuno is fine" He clarified. _"can I talk with you, Sayori?"  
_ Sayori was halfway through her fourth cupcake when Ryuno pulled her away to have a quiet talk by the windows.

"I can't believe she brought a boy" Natsuki mumbled.

"huh?" I asked giving her a glance.

"I mean, talk about killing the mood"

"Don't be so quick to judge Natsuki, I kinda got the feeling he liked manga too. Maybe you should let him read some of yours?"

"hmm" She didn't seem as keen as I'd like. It wasn't too long ago she was the new girl feeling intimidated by Yuri's vast reading experience, so I'd hope she'd be a little more open.

"We're not a real club Natsuki, not with four people. With at least five people in regular attendance, we can be deemed an official club. Unless you _enjoy_ carrying that thing from class to class"  
Natsuki didn't look up from her cupcakes. I hadn't really noticed before but she'd really gone out of her way to make them look cute with little cat faces on them made from white icing and little chocolate ears. One of them even said 'welcome newbie'.

"Hang on, did you know Sayori was bringing someone new?"

"She told me on the way out yesterday, if I knew she had a boy in mind I'd have made them less… _girlish"  
_ I realised thinking back, that Ryuno didn't take one of the cakes that she obviously worked really hard on.

"To be fair, Sayori did take like four of them before he had a chance. Go take the trey around and offer them to everyone, I'm sure he'll gladly try one" I cheekily took another two myself before she decided anything. _"but these are for me"_ I whispered.

"Hmm" She smirked before lifting the trey over to Sayori and Ryuno. Poor Sayori got a slap on the wrist when she again tried to steal one before Ryuno got a chance.

"Natsuki's comics?" Yuri asked peaking into the box beside me.

"Oh, eh-hem… Yes. I was just about to put them away for her… Cupcake?" I intentionally took two so I could share one with Yuri in case Natsuki was unable to fight off Sayori long enough or us All to have one.

"I was about to make everyone tea first" She explained just as I heard the sound of boiling water followed by the 'click' indicating it had finished.

"Oh yeah, thanks. Let me help you with that"  
Yuri and I arranged a second trey with teacups and a small bowl of sugar before bringing the set over to the more central table where Natsuki had left the cakes.  
I was happy for her to see that Ryuno was looking just as impressed as I felt when I tried one, and I could see his reaction had made her gleefully proud despite the Tsundere vale she often hides behind when meeting new people.

"Okay, everyone gather round so we can introduce ourselves as a group" At my word, Natsuki quickly found her seat with Sayori and Ryuno sitting together as Yuri and I poured tea for everyone.

"You keep a whole tea set in the classroom?" I heard Ryuno ask.

"Don't worry, we have permission" Yuri cheerfully explained. "Besides, doesn't a hot cup of tea help you enjoy a good book?"

"ah, I guess so"

"Don't let yourself be intimidated. Yuri's just trying to impress you" I said to him as I handed Natsuki her cup.

"eh?! T-That's not what I… I meant that, you, you know…"  
I only meant to cause a small stir to break the tension for the newbie, I didn't mean to embarrass Yuri though.

"Reading isn't the biggest pastime for me personally, but I do enjoy a good tea" Ryuno said to her with a soft smile after taking a small sip from his cup.  
Yuri was still playing with her long thick hair as she turned back to us, showing briefly a faint smile before speaking again.

"I'm glad you like it"  
Yuri has shy tendencies, which often come and go with the wind. But she's the second girl to get slightly flustered over this new boy. I was starting to wonder what Natsuki meant by 'kill the mood'.  
I hadn't heard of Ryuno before today and everyone else seems to find his presence something of a distraction and or motivator.  
Never the less, I'm the president of this club and I have to keep it real.

"So what made you consider joining the Literature Club?" I asked as I sat down on the last empty seat across from him and Sayori.

"um…" He looked slightly afraid to answer, but Sayori was beaming at him with a warm smile trying to coax an answer from him. "Sayori seemed really happy being apart of this one, and since I hadn't joined one yet I thought I had nothing to lose. Eh, I don't mean that-"

"That's okay" I said with a smile hoping to prevent him feeling uncomfortable on his first day. "There's no need to be embarrassed. We'll make sure you feel right at home. I know the 'Literature Club' sounds _tons of fun"_ I said with a sarcastic smile.

"But Monika does everything she can to keep it exciting and fun for everyone" Sayori chimed in backing me up like a good vice president should. "She's a great leader"  
That was a little too on the nose. Now I'm feeling embarrassed.

"Thank you Sayori" I looked around to see Yuri nodding in agreement.  
There was a small moment of silence, during which, we all noticed there had been faint music playing this whole time. We all looked around for the source, all apart from Natsuki.

"What?" She asked staring at us. "I thought it would be nice to listen while we read"

"What song is that?" Sayori asked.

"It an experimental group. Doki Doki mix"  
It sounded a little plain to be experimental to me. But the piano melody was nice all the same and the newcomer seemed to like it so nobody asked that it be turned off.  
We all had a little chat about who we were and what we wanted to get out of the club. Ryuno was a little like Natsuki in the sense that he was shy to admit that his reading experience is mostly limited to manga, but he seemed open to reading other things too. We just have to encourage him to expand his horizons.

"Well before we all separate into our own little zones, I think it's only fair we bring Ryuno up to speed on what the plans are for the school festival coming up next week" For weeks I'd been mentally planning what we'd do for it. With the team's combined efforts it could be wonderful.

"I've already started sourcing materials to provide a really exotic and mystical feel for whatever room we get" Yuri announced proudly.

"yeah" We all knew preparations were going to be hard. Most people had already begun setting up the foundations for their event to attract more members, but since we're a nomadic group we won't know which room we're getting until the end of the week so we can't set anything up until then. "But between the five of us, I think we'll handle it. Right everyone?"

"Yeah!" Sayori cheered.

"You know it!" Natsuki agreed, raising her fist in the air along with Sayori.

"We'll do our best" Yuri agreed in a more composed fashion.  
We each had another round of tea and each picked another cake from the tray before we started discussing the types of literature we all enjoy.  
Where most of us managed to keep our answers to just a quick sentence or two, Yuri was still describing the feelings she gets from her stories.

"I like to read novels that build a rich and complex fantasy world. The creativity behind these places is simply astonishing to me"  
I smiled from the sideline watching Yuri lose herself in thought. I do my best for the club, but no one here is as passionate about their books as Yuri. She read more books in a year when she was eight than I probably could now.  
I guess I've always come across to others as a more open and involved person, whereas she is far more reclusive and her books are her one true comfort zone.  
So seeing her so expressive was a welcomed sight for me.

"But, I like other things too. Psychological works that make you see things in a radically new way are also a strong one for me…" She said with a sure smile to herself. "Right now, however, I'm reading a horror novel"  
That surprised me. I wouldn't have expected Yuri to be interested in something like that.

"I didn't think someone as gentle as you would be into… you know, _stab stab_ books"

"Hmm, _not that kind of horror"_ She explained to me as she pulled out a really large book with an eye symbol on the spine. "I only got it yesterday, I'll lend you it once I'm done"

"Sure" I said looking at my watch. "I can wait five minutes"

"It's a page turner all right, but I'm not _that_ fast" Yuri admitted with a soft pink glow above her cheeks.  
We all had a small laugh excluding the new boy and Natsuki. I guessed things might be a little alien for Ryuno, but I wondered what was bothering Natsuki.

"Are you alright?" I asked her softly.

"I'm just not big on horror" She shrugged. "I prefer more…"  
I saw her glance at Ryuno for a moment for before turning away. "it doesn't mater… _I'm getting more tea"_ She mumbled before getting up and going to the back table. When she topped off her already almost full cup she wandered away to get her manga collection and sat by herself to read.

"um, okay…" I could cut the tension with a knife. "Why don't we-"

"hold on" Sayori leaned over to where Natsuki was sitting and picked up a tightly folded piece of paper. "Did you drop this?" She called to the other side of the room.  
I turned to see Natsuki pat her pockets before spinning around with dread on her face.

"Is this a poem?" Sayori asked before Natsuki stormed across demanding it back. "But it's so cute!" Sayori cheered having only enough time to read the title before it was snatched from her hand. "Everything you do is as cute as you are"

" _I'm not cute!"_ Her face was turning slightly red.

"There's nothing to be ashamed off in here" I assured her. "We all write poems and stories" I looked around expecting an agreeing vibe from everyone. But even Yuri seemed iffy, and I don't think it was because she's embarrassed to admit.

"Just me?" I asked softly.

"I think it's impressive" Ryuno said. "I don't think I could write _anything_ let alone a poem"  
The tone shifted in an instant. Suddenly all eyes were on him, even Natsuki spruced up her composure.

"Could I read it?" He asked.

"NO!" She told him pulling away scrunching the paper even more. "you wouldn't…like them"

"I understand how she feels. Sharing something you put your heart into takes more than just confidence. Opening up to readers is hard. Like exposing your own vulnerabilities… I don't think I could share my stories"

"wait, you Do write?" I guess they're both a little shy about their works.

"I want to read everyone's poems!" Sayori announced as she took Natsuki by the hands and brought her back to her seat.  
After some silence, I got thinking about an assignment for us all to get involved in. Poems can be any size and need only be personal to the writer to be good. And it might be a good way to get some of us out of our shells and bring the club together.

"Okay everyone, I've got an idea. Tonight we've got to think up and write a poem of our own. Anything you like, but tomorrow we share them with everyone so we're all even"  
Natsuki and Yuri seemed very unsure, luckily the ever supportive Sayori had my back with her own brand of enthusiasm.

"Yeah let's do it!" She cheered.  
I turned to Ryuno who looked back at me with a mix of shy and unease. Something was clearly on his mind bar the sudden expectancy to write and reveal his own poems.  
A heavy load for a newbie I admit, but some people don't learn to swim unless you toss them in the deep end and I hardly think that Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and I come across as sharks to him.

"I just…" He was nervous with me staring at him, but I didn't know how else to give him a chance to speak openly. If I look away it'll feel less confrontational but might also seem like I'm ignoring him.

"I, haven't actually decided to join yet" He finally admitted to us. "Sayori asked me to drop by for a look, but I've not really…" He trailed off.  
I saw the other girls staring at him with dejection. Natsuki looked like she was perhaps feeling a bit guilty, maybe blaming her self for her short outbursts. I wouldn't blame her or Ryuno if he decided to leave, but all our plans to be an official club by the end of the semester will be crushed if he does.  
We'd have to put up with the class rotation for the next few weeks anyway, and we still have the festival to look forward to. We can get new members yet.  
Even if we have to bribe them with more cupcakes and tea.

"actually… maybe I can stay for a few more sessions" Ryuno said sheepishly.

"You will?" Sayori asked beaming with joy.

"Sure"

"Yes! I'm so happy" Sayori was practically dancing around the boy with her arms wrapped around him.  
I expected her performance to scare him off even more but he was looking at her like he'd expect nothing else from her.  
Maybe his recruitment isn't so random as I thought. They do give friendship vibes the more I watch them.

"If you really came just for the cupcakes I'd be super pissed"

" _Natsuki"_ Yuri whispered giving her a light flick of her hand.

"There's no pressure Ryuno. The club is for those who want to be here, no more and no less" I explained to him. "But between the five of us…" I said leaning in. "Natsuki has some good manga"  
Manga isn't really my thing personally, but it seemed to be exactly what he needed to hear at that moment to stay, assuming Natsuki helps me out by offering to share with him at some point.  
After a few more rounds of tea and finishing off the last of Natsuki's cupcakes, we all did our parts to tidy up the class before leaving for the night.  
Yuri and Natsuki put away the tea set and treys while I went to get a vacuum cleaner for the excess crumbs. By the time I'd returned the tables and chairs were all where they should be and everyone was just saying their final goodbyes for this evening.  
Seemed I was right about Ryuno and Sayori being friends, as they both opted to go home together. I reminded them both about their assignments and everyone in the class gave a mixed collection of enthusiastic cheers and submissive grunts.

"Alright, see you all tomorrow" I cheered waving them off while I stayed behind to do my final share of the cleaning before gathering my things to head home just in time for the 4:42 bus.

Later that evening I found myself staring at a blank sheet of paper with a dark ink smudge from where my pen had been resting. I couldn't very well ask everyone else to write a poem but have nothing to hand in myself.  
My head was drawing a blank. I had nothing to write about.

"C'mon Monika" I muttered to myself before letting my hand slam on my desk, causing a small drop of ink to run down the page from the puddle. "oh no" I jumped up from my chair before any of it got on my uniform and trying to clean it with paper towels only made the smudge bigger.  
Eventually, the entire sheet was covered by a black vacant spot. A little drop of ink goes a long way apparently. But somehow the light reflecting off the ink seemed to make shapes and patterns.  
Hoping I might get some sort of inspiration…

"From the bleak void of dark emptiness I find the purest light of shining… _delight?"_ No. I didn't like that. It's the first-day assignments but I wanted something better than just relying on rhymes alone to carry my poem.  
Anyone with a dictionary and or thesaurus could make words rhyme. But no one can make MY words be me. No one can write a poem the way Monika does. That's what I wanted.  
Something only I can see. Something only I can feel.  
For another moment I stared at the page having written nothing.  
Seconds were ticking away and bedtime was closing in.  
I tried to imagine what the others were doing.  
Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri. What are they writing about this very moment?  
Then there's also Ryuno.  
I'm not expecting much from him since he didn't seem too committed to the club. For all I know he might have said what he needed to get through today before deciding to never come back. A sad possibility, but he may surprise me.  
Our mystery fifth, who had all the girls making such a fuss.  
I smirked to myself thinking about how everyone was acting.

"kill the mood" I mumbled echoing Natsuki's words from the meeting.  
I leaned my fountain pen on the page again, letting the ink run freely into a dark puddle. Maybe I'll get inspiration before it runs out.  
As I looked deeper into the black abyss forming on my clean white page, I again started to see patterns.  
Like a film slowly developing, I was starting to see a clear picture of what lay behind the ink.  
I could see, a face behind the glossy darkness staring through me as he peered out from my page.  
I brushed my pen around the puddle, letting more and more fill the sheet as I sat entranced by what was slowly being unveiled to me.  
It was frightening, but I couldn't stop.  
With every stroke of my pen, I slowly uncovered the truth.


	2. Judging By Its Cover

Why did Sayori have to tell everyone I wrote a poem?  
Why did that new boy have to pretend he was interested?  
Why did Monika have to make us all write more?  
No one cares what I write about. They're just silly scribbles with no worth what so ever.

* * *

Chapter 2. Judging by its cover.

Unable to ignore the fact that I'd have to embarrass myself once Monika calls for it, I was anxious from the moment I sat in the clubroom.  
I'd spent most of yesterday evening over thinking to the point where I burned myself out and literally fell asleep at my desk and all I have to show for it is a scrap piece of paper with nonsense words that even I'd make fun of someone for.  
But maybe I'll be lucky.

It's already 3:30 and Ryuno is ten minutes late. If Monika doesn't make us turn in the assignments until we're all accounted for then maybe this whole thing will be forgotten about and I can just relax with my books while the clock runs out.  
After all, Sayori told me the newbie didn't even _Want_ to join a club. Not this year or even last. Someone with that attitude isn't fit to be one of us.  
I glance across to Yuri sitting a table across from me and see that she's already reading her new book. From the looks of it, she's made it past the halfway point already.  
Is she a robot? How could anyone read that fast?  
Especially something that has such tiny words and no breaks and no pictures.  
Just thinking about it was giving me a headache, so I just rested my head on the table top for a moment.

"Glad to see you didn't run away from us Ryuno" Monika laughed gleefully as the classroom door opened.

"I keep my word. Sayori makes sure of it"  
I turned in my seat to look at him as I check my watch.  
Sayori _makes_ him keep his word? What kind of answer is that for being late?

"Did you forget?" I demanded from my seat.  
Ryuno looked taken back by me. Good. Anyone who doesn't appreciate us shouldn't be here, period.  
 _  
"Go easy"_ Yuri told me. "We're asking him to dive head first into something he's not all that accustomed too"

"Like we should give him slack. He probably didn't even write anything. We're going to have to show our poems and he'll just hang out in the back thinking we're silly or dumb or, or…"

"May I read yours?"

"N-no…" I slumped over the desk to bury my face. "it's not time yet"

"I don't think Monika would mind" I could hear shyness in her voice as she walked over to my desk and pulled out a neatly folded sheet of pale lavender coloured paper. "May I share mine with you at least?"

"hmm, _alright then_ " I decided since I was going to read her's that I should give her mine too.  
My poem was written on slightly scrumpled notepad page but Yuri accepted it all the same.  
As I looked over Yuri's poem, the first thing that hit me like a train was her pristine hand writing being all consistently sized and joined up like an old English play writer's.  
It was sprightly impressive, but it just meant I had to really focus on the words to be able to read them, and even _then_ I was struggling;

 _The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow. Bathing. It must be this one.  
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.  
The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green hue of the future.  
I bathe. Calm, breathing air of the present but living in the past.  
The light flickers. I flicker back._

' _what the hell is this?'_ I mouth to myself as I stare at her page before looking up towards Yuri the way I would a to doctor when expecting bad news. At any moment she was no doubt going to ask what I think, but I had no idea what to make of her work.  
What's worse is she had my poem hostage. So I couldn't even run away.

"Yours is… _eh-hem_ , good Natsuki, very you"

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's very simple, yet it…eh-" Yuri's face turns bright red. She turns away from me and immediately starts playing with her hair as she often does when she's nervous. "That's not what I meant, sorry I… I shouldn't have said anything"  
I wanted to challenge her calling me simple, but this was a chance to get away without admitting I couldn't decipher her poem at all.

"just give me it back"

"But I really did like it!" She insisted. "Yours is really nice, are those your favourite animals?"  
 _  
"n-No!"_ Writing about animals for that reason alone is what a young child would do.  
Offended, I slide her poem across the table to her before grabbing mine back and storming away.

"Natsuki, wait…"

Despite her pleas, I simply made my way to the classroom closet where my manga was waiting for me.  
This is the Literature Club after all, I'm meant to be reading something.  
I turned the light on in the closet and looked around for where I left my box. Monika said we had permission and I did leave it in a cosy little spot where it shouldn't bother anyone.  
But it was missing. My entire collection, gone!

"no no please no…" I got down on all fours and I looked down the stacked boxes to see if someone had moved something else on top of them. But I had them in perfect condition, if something crushed them, or scratches the covers I'd be devastated.

"Are you looking for something?"  
I look up to see Ryuno standing by the door, staring back down to me.  
I rise to my feet and wash the sadness from my face. I don't need him of all people pitying me over losing 'children's stories'.

"I'm fine…" I told him before stepping out of the closet to address Monika. "You _did_ say we had permission to put things in here didn't you?"

"I did, is something wrong?" She asked back.

"My books are missing"

Monika showed a look of concern for me. It's one thing I really like about her. She sometimes teases us but she takes her role seriously when it comes to us and the club.  
Even _if_ her assignments are dumb sometimes.

"comics…"

"What did you say?" I demanded as I turned to Ryuno.

"Is that them?" He asked. When I looked to where he was pointing, I saw the heavy box of manga had been moved to the top shelf, and some idiot had written 'COMICS' on the side in bold highlighter.  
 _  
"ugh…_ Found them!" I called back to Monika before grabbing a chair from the nearest desk so I could reach the top shelf. But even with the extra hight, I could only just brush the cardboard with my fingertips.

"Want _me_ to get them for you?" Ryuno asked.

I wasn't keen on him seeing my collection. I have all sorts of manga but the last thing I was reading does look 'girly' on the surface until you get to the drama and the conflicts that the characters go through together. It's really good, but I don't want to have to explain it all to him because I'll get worked up again and he'll stand there like the victim while I'm the hot head.  
 _  
"I_ can get it… I just need…" I'd definitely be able to reach if I could stand on the backrest of the chair, but I know I'd fall if I try, unless… "if you want to help… hold the chair for me, would you?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, you should just let me-"  
 _  
"I said I'm doing it!"_ I step up on the backrest, and as I did I heard Ryuno move in to give added stability. _"I've almost got it now…"_ Both hands on either side, I carefully slide the box towards me. It's so much heavier now that I have to balance on cheap plastic.  
Maybe I should have just asked Ryuno to help, but I was almost there and he was sturdy as a rock holding the chair under me.  
under me _…  
_ I dropped my stare at him. He was arched over holding the chair just as I asked him to, but I was suddenly very aware of how my skirt was just above his head.  
As I desperately pulled my knees closer together to try and make it harder for him to see me, I lost all balance and the box of manga threatening to drop on me it all became too much of a panic and I ended up falling back on Ryuno with my box manga emptying over us.

"jeez, are you okay?" He asked.

I glared at him as I pushed my uniform around my legs as we both sat on the closet floor.  
"I'm fine" I don't know if he saw me or not. He wasn't staring when I looked down so maybe I'm not being entirely fair.

"Are you okay?"  
"What happened?" Everyone was looking down at us from the doorway. They obviously heard the fall and gathered around to see if we were okay.

"Some idiot moved my manga to the top shelf!"  
Sayori looked to where I was pointing while Monika sighed heavily as she came to understand what happened.

"I would have gladly helped you if you'd asked" Yuri, being the tallest of the girls would probably have managed without a chair, but I think she's underestimating how heavy the box is. " _…_ Parfait Girls? unique title" That tone of Yuri's was of the reason I need to keep my books hidden.  
And as she lifted the twelfth issue from the floor, I saw something that broke my heart.

"No! Give it to me!" I climbed over to her and took the book back. I hoped it was just the light from where I was sitting. But no. The fall had bent the cover leaving a long crease from the top centre to the bottom part of the spine and nothing I did seemed to be repairing the damage.

"It was like that when I picked it up, I promise…" Yuri's hands got in the way again. She was trying to help, but I didn't want to face her or anyone else.

"just leave me alone… close the door"

"C'mon Natsuki, let us help. I'm sure we can…" Sayori stopped when I glanced at her. I wanted to be left in peace, why is that so hard to understand?

Monika rounded the girls up and asked Ryuno to go with her as she lead them all away. _"just give her ten minutes"_ I heard her tell him before the momentum of the door to shut itself over.

With tears in my eyes, I tried my absolute best to fix the crease but like before, nothing I did worked and eventually I had to give up. From the other side of the door, I could hear everyone talking amounts themselves.  
Sayori… Yuri… Ryuno… _Monika_.  
Monika told me this place would be safe. If I left my manga here because she promised me that no one would touch them. She promised me, now one of them is creased and it's her fault…  
With tears filling my hands I shook my head.  
It was _my_ fault it happened. I should have let Ryuno get them when he asked.

Thinking that maybe the weight of the other books resting on top would be of some help, I collected all the good ones and stacked them all on top of the bent issues.  
My head was hot and sore from the crying as I sat leaning against the bookcase behind me but even with my manga packed away nicely, there was still a bit of a mess surrounding me.  
Despite the nauseating dizziness, I knew I had to take some responsibility and so I began to tidy up, the... _mess.—…_

I was tingly and my head felt like it was inflated with air as I came to. A cold hand on my head sparked my vision into focus and I started to make out the emerald greens of Monika's eyes staring back down at me.  
Once she sat me up against the bookshelf, Monika reached into her bag and took out a small protein bar and even removed the foil for me.

"thank you…" I say as I take a bite.  
I looked around to see the room was pretty much tidy, though I don't know how much of it was me and how much was Monika. I was just happy the door was closed.  
When I was done eating, Monika took the empty wrapper from me and hid it back in her bag so there'd be no evidence of me fainting.

"I was just calling everyone around to read their poems, I'd like you to join us, but I understand if you'd rather sit out"

I forgot all about my stupid poem. I pulled it from my pocket and handed it to Monika. She quietly sat beside me as she read in ten seconds what took me all my mental energy and all evening to think up.  
 _  
"it's so dumb…"_ I whimpered.

"It's not" Monika said with a cheery smile. "I like it"

"It's _Dumb!"_ I insisted.

"Why do you think it's dumb?"

"Because everyone thinks writing needs to be all sophisticated words and complicated… no one's going to take mine seriously out there"

"But I did. Just be confident and others will have to respect you for it, trust me"

I wasn't convinced as I already knew what Yuri thought of it, and I knew my own thoughts.  
I know it's bad, but it was the best I could come up with.  
Monika handed me back my poem and pulled out a sheet of paper or her own.  
With a deep sigh, I looked hers over;

 _It's just a little hole, but it was too deep. Stretching forever into everything.  
_ _I peer inside for a clue.  
_ _It wasn't too bright, but I saw the infinite.  
_ _A world larger than I ever could have imagined.  
_ _I realise now, that I wasn't looking in. I was looking out._

Her handwriting much like Yuri's only easier to read. I could actually make out the words on my first attempt but I was still struggling with understanding the subject.

"uh… I'm a little lost" I admitted as I handed it back. "Does it have a name?"

"Not really, it just came to me last night"

I gloss over it one more time. My poem doesn't rhyme any more than her's did, so I can check off at least one worry I had.

"Natsuki _,_ if I may speak from the heart for a moment, I want to tell you something about your poem…"

"What about it?" Again I looked at my own poem;

 _Monkeys can climb, Crickets can leap, Horses can race,  
_ _Owls can seek, Cheetahs can run, Eagles can fly,  
People can try… But that's about it._

I didn't believe I should show my sorry excuse for effort to anyone, but Monika sat at my side and explained her thoughts as she went down it with me.

"A poem is more than the words on the page. The true value comes from the meaning it has for both the reader and the writer. I mean, it seems to me that the subject of _this_ poem, the person, is surrounded by natural greatness and all the while the person can only do her best… at least, that's what _I_ got from it"

Where on earth did she get that from?  
I looked it over again.  
' _Surrounded by natural greatness, all we can do is try'_ Monika pulled together in just a few short seconds a better interoperation that even the one in my own head.  
A perfect metaphor for me being in this club. Monika and the others are far better at this than I'll ever be.

"Monika… I think I'm gonna go home…"

"oh no, don't say that"

"sorry, I don't feel like being here anymore…" I reached to get my manga box as before I could go anywhere I needed to bring it somewhere safe.  
But Monika beat me to it. She grabbed the box and held it away from me.

"Give them to me!" I demanded reaching out for it, but she held me back at arms reach. _"Monika!"  
_

"I know you're upset Natsuki. But I'm asking you to stay, just till the end. I'll even walk you home afterwords if you like" She hadn't offered to walk me home since shortly after I first joined. Had she forgotten what happened last time or was she just _that_ concerned for me?

"fine… whatever" I muttered as I slumped back against the bookshelf behind me. I didn't have the energy to struggle against her, and she knew I wouldn't leave without my manga so this was checkmate. "can I have some to read at least?"

"Of course. Just come out and sit with us, no one will bother you, I promise" Monika grabbed the first three from the top pile without even looking and handed them to me before setting the rest of them on the floor. "you coming?"

"I'm going to tidy myself up a bit before I come out" I dried one of my remaining tears with the sleeve of my blazer. I had no mirror to see what kinda mess I must be in, but I imagined damp red eyes and a pink top half of my face.

"Sure thing Natsuki, take all the time you need" Monika walked out of the closet, leaving me mostly in the dark apart form the one strip of light streaming in past the slightly cracked door. I could hear the others talking as Monika roused them all over for poetry reading time.

My behaviour before, the way I yelled and the state I'm in now.  
I didn't want to walk out there… I just wanted to read my-  
"my manga" I put two of my books under my left arm and held the third between my hands and in front of my face. I tried to make it look like I was reading. Face deep in the pages so no one could see my face until the colour and the heat calmed down.  
I felt eyes on me as I walk out and moved promptly to the front of the class.  
They can't tell from the back of my head how upset I've been, so this seemed like a fool proof plan.  
Sadly though, it wasn't a _Sayori_ proof plan.  
 _  
"sure sure, just a sec…"_ Sayori's voice got louder and clearer despite the fact she was talking to someone else. She then appeared beside me.

"Hey you" She said with a cheerful smile before sitting down beside me.

"does no one know how to leave others alone?" I asked rhetorically as I dropped my manga on the table before slumping back in my chair with my arms crossed, then from no where Sayori's finger appeared and tapped me on the nose.

 _"boop!"_ She giggled before holding up a page from my book that showed an anime girl doing the same thing to _her_ friend.  
I crossed my arms. Feeling like my head was about to boil over like a kettle.

"Did Monika send you?" I growled.

"Nope. She asked me to leave you alone, but I vetoed it"

"Well _I'm_ asking you to leave me alone"

 _"Vetoed"_ She smiled again as she pulled out her poem. "I was shy when Ryuno and I read each others too, but talking about them afterwords is kinda fun"

"But I don't _want_ fun, I just want to be left alone"

"Well you can join the isolation club next semester, but in the _Literature Club_ , you get pestered by your friends" She teased waving her a yellow coloured note to me out to me again.

"oh _fine…_ here you go"

"Yey" She clapped with joy having finally broken me down enough to hand her my poem.  
I guess if I had to let someone read it, Sayori is a safe bet. There's not a mean bone in her body. She could probably spin hate-mail to mean something positive.

"You didn't cheat did you?" She asked me with a coy smile.

"How could I cheat?" I demanded.

"You had a poem yesterday, you didn't just rewrite it on a clean sheet did you?"

"Would you just read it?" I asked before looking at her yellow leaf shaped sticky note and having a read;

 _The way you glow through my blinds in the morning,  
It makes me feel like you missed me.  
Kiss my head, help me from my bed.  
_ _Are you asking me to come out and play?  
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?  
I look above. The sky is blue. It's a secret, but I love you too.  
_ _I'd sleep forever, if not for you._

I kinda figured she would go for a rhyming style. Her poem was pretty nice, leagues better then mine.  
I look up from the yellow leaf and found Sayori giggling to herself as she read mine.

"people can try, _oh"  
_

 _Oh?_ I wondered what gave her that reaction.

"It's pretty good, and so true for lots of people..." She told me. "But I think most people in this room are better than just tryers. Like Yuri said yesterday, it takes a lot to put yourself out there, and you didn't just try, you _did_ it, and don't you feel happier now?"

"Maybe…" I sighed.

 _"it's a good day when a few pages getting bent is the worst part of it"_ She whispered to me before giving me a quick hug.  
My manga are really important to me. Whenever I'm alone or sad I can use them to escape somewhere where I can be happy, so I try to keep them good.  
'people can try' I smirked thinking about how all my effort fell on it's behind back there in the closet.  
But when Sayori puts it that way, I guess she's right.  
End of the day they are just books.  
I looked over her poem one last time before she pulled away from me, and I snuck in a quick pat on her head before she did.

"I liked yours too, do you have a secret love affair with the sun that we should know about?" I teased as she winked at me.

"Mr sunshine gets me up and brightens my every day"

"Like you need any help with that" I smirked back. "If the sun ever went out for good, I think we could just pop you at the top of the word to brighten all our lives"

"aww, that's sweet of you" Sayori beamed at me softly before handing me my poem back. "I'm going to go show mine to Monika now, I'll talk to you later?"

"okay" I watched her walk away, wondering to myself how long it will take her to realise that I'd stuck her poem to her head during the hug. I smirked to myself as frantically searched her pockets for it in front of Monika, who simply plucked the sticky note from the girl's hair and handed it to her. The look of sheer confusion on Sayori's face was priceless, an image that made me smile as I turned back to my manga.  
I got a few short minutes of peace to read before someone else approached.

"Is your manga okay?"

I pulled my elbows in as I sat with my head low when I heard Ryuno's voice. Most of all I didn't expect he'd want to talk to me again.  
"It was just a crease. Not the end of the world" I told him with a slight turn of the cold shoulder as I looked in the opposite direction of where he was standing. But already I was unfolding my poem to hand to him when he inevitably asks like everyone else.  
At least he's the last one.

 _"_ I don't take half as good a care of my manga books… but even I get a little torn up when they take damage, so I know how crushing it is _"  
_

"Do you?" I sighed rolling my eyes towards him.

"Yeah. It's like when you see people get hurt on tv or youtube and _you_ feel hurt too. I really felt for you when I saw that bent page"

I knew him the least. Only learned he existed yesterday, yet he's the first to get it.  
Sayori was right in telling me it's not the end of the world, but it was nice to hear someone tell me it's okay to be annoyed.

"parfait girls?" He mumbled looking at one of the spare manga books I had on the desk. "Is it any good?"  
The picture on the front shows bright colours and a action shot of some high-school antics the characters get up to, but that's just the set up to the good stuff. Once the drama hits the series gets so good, and they only issue a new volume every few months so it's perfect for me, but it's really not something that appeals to typical boys.

"If you take anything away from the Literature Club, let it be this. Never judge a book by its cover!" I say with a proud grin. "In fact, why don't I show you how good it actually is?" I took the manga book from the desk and began leading him away from everyone else so we could read a few chapters together by the windows.  
I didn't really consider before no how he might be able to adapt to a new type story better than the others do, so they can all talk about their poems and horror books, but I'm gonna nab me the manga reader before someone else steals his interest.

"Hold on, aren't you forgetting something?" He asked calling my attention again.

As I turned to ask what I'd forgotten, I saw the sheet of paper in his hand.

"I've read everyone's poems already… except yours, so…"

That must have been why he approached me just now.  
The dumb assignment.  
At least I'll get some insight into how he thinks, even if it means I have to show mine.  
Nervously, I exchanged my own with his and had a quick read;

 _Seeing past the harshest stare,  
_ _searching for the person lost in there.  
_ _A girl who's full of sweetness and charm,  
_ _but feeling threatened she runs from harm.  
_ _I stretch my hand as far as it will extend,  
_ _reaching and hoping she'll be my friend.  
_ _She takes my hand and I pull her out,  
_ _I expect a smile, but she gave a pout…_

"Bit of a sudden ending _"_ I told him. His poem wasn't too out there like Yuri's, in fact it felt like it belong snugly between Sayori's and Monikas'.

"Yeah… I didn't really know how to end it" He admitted as he gave his head a nervous rub. "I asked to read yours yesterday and you got embarrassed about it. I was thinking about that when I wrote it, hoping I could make it easier for _you"_

I hadn't asked what inspired it though I imagine the others might have, so he was just talking out of habit.  
But realising that he might have wrote this about or for me, maybe even both. It made me very shy being so close to him, especially after how hostile I was before.  
I read it over one last time before saying what I felt.  
In all honesty, when he first approached me I'd planned on just dismissing it so he'd leave me alone, but knowing now that he wrote it for me personally, I didn't have it in me to be _that_ mean to him.  
I couldn't let him know exactly how much I liked it though.

"I mean… it's not _great_ but…" I looked it over again. Out of all of the ones I've been shown today, Ryuno's was one written on my level and made me feel warm inside. It was nice, more so now that I saw what he was going for. "yeah I… I like it, I just wish it didn't end like that"

"How would you have ended it?" He asked.

I felt annoyed by his question. Like it was a trap. One that I set myself _for_ myself. I'd have loved his poem better if the girl was less bitchy and more grateful to someone going out of their way just to make her happy, but there was no way I could say that to him with a straight face after everything that's happened between us so far.

"Maybe the boy should know when to let someone be. Maybe the girl would _rather_ be left alone" I told him as I handed it back.

"hmm. Well, anyway, I liked yours too"

I crossed my arms as I pouted at him like the girl does in his story. I could tell he was just saying that.

"I actually feel it somewhat relates to mine in a way" He held both out for me to see, but I didn't see the connection between the two poems. Not until he explained. "I can only _try_ to be friends with you Natsuki"

Hearing his words, I stared out the window keeping my back to him. For him to just say it like that… so weird.  
Besides, why would he want to be friends with me with two school hotties and sunny Sayori standing in the back.

"why me?"

"I dunno. Maybe I think you'll have good tastes, maybe I want to hear what suggestions an experienced manga has to share with me"

I smirked at that. Actually, we were meant to read Parfait Girls together and remembering this brought a giddiness back to me.  
I asked him to sit with me like we were about to just before the poems were brought up.

"Wouldn't chairs be more comfortable?"

"Chairs won't work, we need to both be able to read at the same time" I explained as I handed him the manga. Since I've read it through already, I could just skim the words and appreciate the pictures while he reads at his own pace.

"Ah… I suppose it does help us both to read when we're close like this"

"D-don't just say that!" I felt my face turn red as I look up at the others.  
Sayori and Yuri are talking with Monika, but I caught a glimpse of our club president stealing a peek at us from across the room. I scooted about twelve inches away from Ryuno before it all made me feel any weirder.  
I didn't expect to be sitting with the new boy like this, but in all honesty, it wasn't that bad after I found myself staring at the manga again.  
Nostalgia feels came rushing back as he opened the book to its very first page.

"oh wow" Comparing the drawings from back then to the later volumes in my mind. I forgot how much sharper the illustrations got after the pilot.  
I just sat silently looking over Ryuno's shoulder as he held the manga up for both of us.  
I scoot closer for a better view when I was sure no one was looking, then a little more. Eventually, I was right back where I started in the first place, but it looked like he didn't notice how close I really am.  
Was he really that drawn to the story?  
I don't often get a reading partner, so maybe Ryuno will be another reason to enjoy the club.

By the ninth page, Ryuno finally spoke up about his first question.

"so… what should I expect from this? Is there a plot, or is it just them hanging around a classroom the whole time?"

"Well obviously" I rolled my eyes at his frankly insulting question. "You think I'd read something without a plot?" I hadn't noticed before now, but since we started reading I had started leaning in with my head comfortably resting on his arm. But he didn't seem to mind as his eyes were fixed on the story.  
Clearing my throat, I sat back up to give a more in-depth explanation to what the story goes for in volume one.

"The beginning is about simple things. Like being obsessed with boys, there's one funny chapter later on where there's this cute guy at an ice cream shop and… _well,_ it's just so you know the characters better. The good stuff comes in act two. But still an interesting journey. I remember my first time enjoying this, I love them so much and the romance towards the end is worth the wait" Somehow sharing that fact didn't help with the blushing I knew was going on below my eyes.

"Well right now they're all baking cakes, is there a lot of that too?"

"maybe" I mumbled feeling his eyes on me. "What?"

"I just find it fitting that one of your manga collections feature baking so heavily, and you're cupcakes yesterday were really good. Do these books have recipes by any chance?"

"No… yeah, but that's just a coincidence! I feel sorry for anyone so impressionable that they get into something just because a cartooned book tells them to. _Ahaha!"  
_ The chapters flew by for me, but since Ryuno was new to the series he needed a little extra time to fully understand some of the references. I didn't mind.

"Are you sure this isn't boring for you? I mean, you're just watching me read?"

"no no, I'm fine with that" I insisted. I didn't know how to put it into words to explain how it was fun for me. Seeing someone indulge in something I enjoy so much was filling me with the same satisfaction as my first read.

"I guess I get excited when I convince any of my friends to take up a series I enjoy. Know what I mean?"

"hmm…" I mumbled looking at the floor. "I really wouldn't know… Whenever someone brings up my manga it's all ' _Eh? Haven't you outgrown that yet?'_ makes me want to punch them in the face"

"I know that feeling. Finding someone who gets you takes a lot right? Makes those who understand so much more special"

"yeah, Exactly! I mean, I can't even keep them in my own room. I don't even want to know what my dad would do if he found my collection" Though I could guess. Some of the copies that weren't damaged would probably still sell online. "At least they're safe here… except for that fall… ugh, _I can't win can I?_ " But compared to the worst cases scenarios, a few folds really isn't with getting upset about. I see that now.  
I hear the page turn while I was lost in my own little world, and I seeing my favourite character come down with her daily dose of bad luck brought a smile back to my face.  
"I always feel sorry for her" I laugh pointing to the panel. "I forgot this happens to her… But it gets better, finish the chapter!" I urge as I settle in for the ride to come.  
While Ryuno carries on at his steady pace, I could occasionally feel his body quake from silent chuckles when the funny stuff happens.  
As he continues to stare at the pages, I quietly try to formulate a question of my own.  
Not really a question, more of a wondering.  
"you like this story?" I ask.

"It's a bit slow right now, but I think I'm getting into it"  
I nod to him.

"and… You really wrote that poem for me?" I thought about my first impressions, from both of us. How I believed he'd take a disliking to me immediately after coming into what was meant to be a sanctuary for me, and how I must have come off so dismissive because of that.

"Actually, now that everyone's seen it, do you want to keep this?"

"Your poem?" I watched him pull it out again. As he hands it to me, I find myself reading his words more than what's on the pages of Parfait Girls.  
It was simple, but it meant a lot to me that he'd go out of his way like this when we really just met.

"you're not really how I thought you'd be…" I mumbled softly feeling rather embarrassed to admit it to him.

 _"Don't judge a book by its cover, Natsuki"  
_ If anyone else threw my own words back at me like that I might have gotten 'pouty' again, however he said it such a friendly and jokey way I just let it slide.  
I pulled my knees closer to my chest as I lean in to spend the rest of the session reading with him.

Some more time passes and I start to take notice of what the others are doing. Monika and Yuri begin putting things away while Sayori practically skips over to us.

"Almost that time again" She announces. "aw, _look at you two_ … Need a few more minutes?"

"I think the chapter is almost done" He tells her as he skips ahead being careful not to see spoilers. "maybe a few more?"

"well…" I started speaking before I could think first. "you could, borrow it if you like. Just promise to take _good_ care of it" It shouldn't make me smile, but the slightly frightened look he made due to my demand was kinda amusing.  
Biggest person in class intimidated by the smallest. I liked him even more now, but I made a metal note of trying not to frighten him away if there is a potential for reading buddy relationship between us.

 _"You two are adorable together"_ Sayori whispered to us both.

 _"zip it!"_ I urged her before she made it weird again. "besides, I thought _you two_ were dating anyway"

Sayori's face turned a quick flush of pink at my words.

"No no, we're just really good friends" Ryuno told me.

"yeah, of course" Sayori echoed as she took his hand. "Besties since kids"  
I noticed that away in the back, Monika and Yuri's heads had turned up since Ryuno exclaimed he wasn't seeing Sayori, and admittedly, hearing this news made me a little giddy too. But seeing the way Sayori reacted, I didn't want to step on her toes. She obviously likes him, even if he's too blind as a bat to realise.

In the final minutes, we all done our turn of making sure papers and things weren't lying around the classroom floor. We put the chairs back where they belong and I had a quick peek inside the closet to make sure there was nothing damaged or messy.  
Monika and I were last to leave, but that's fairly standard for her, I was the one holding her back this time. I was more confused to see her holding my box of manga again, then I remembered she offered to walk me home.  
After letting the door close behind me, Monika fumbled with the keys to lock up the classroom. I took them from her and locked the door myself since she was already carrying my box for me.

"I can get that myself, my locker isn't too far you know" I told her, but she insisted on helping. So to not be a total burden, I offered to carry her bag for her while we navigated the hallways.  
Before long we reached the centre of the school to find my locker. Monika held the manga out while I stacked them away on my top shelf before folding the box up to slide into the back. Lastly I grabbed my school bag and shut the locker over.  
I expected that to be the end of out little walk together, but Monika kept good on what she said in the closet. I told her it wasn't needed and that I was fine now, but she walked by her bus-stop and stayed at my side all the way to my street.

We'd been mostly in silence, but I wanted to get something off my chest. "I'm sorry about what happened in the clubroom… _I just… you know"_

"I do… _You're not you when you're hungry"_ She teased giving me a quick nudge.

"shut up" I laughed back. Ever since that dumb ad came on the tv I knew it was only a matter of time before she hit me with it.

"How much do those bars cost you?" I asked nodding to her bag.

"Oh, don't worry about that" She swung the bag around to her other arm. "And please don't feel shy about asking me when you need one, it really scared me when I found you in the closet"

"hmm" I feel embarrassed every time I think about it. I wish she didn't have to carry snacks around for me.

"So, how was your little book session with Ryuno?"

"It was actually nice!" I said with an uncontainable smile forcing its way across my face. "I mean, I think he was getting into them"

"Well you fairly cheered up after a few minutes alone with him" She teased.

 _"ha-ha"_ I stuck my tongue at her. She wasn't totally wrong about Ryuno, but it was actually Sayori who got me wanting to get involved again, without _her_ I'd probably have told Yuri and Ryuno to both go away. "He's not like other boys. He doesn't stare at me funny, or say I'm 'cute' every ten seconds like it's a frigging complement"  
We were both silent for a tense moment.

"… you _are_ cute though" Monika told me with a raised eyebrow. "Do you put all those pink clips and ribbons in your hair every day because you're trying to look _scary?"_

"You know what I mean" I sighed "I know all the comments that come form you and the girls are all just teasing or girl talk. When it's the first thing out a stranger's mouth, I just want to tell him to _piss off!"  
_

"Yeah, I get that…" She said giving me an empathetic look. "Just don't tell Ryuno to piss off if he calls you cute"

"Why not?" I asked, to which she simply held out her hand showing five fingers. "oh right… we _need_ him"

"Play nice" She told me as we were just arriving at my front gate. "Okay, I gotta catch my next bus" She told me as she peeled back her sleeve to look at her watch. "Talk to you late-"

 _"Natsuki"_

I felt a chill hearing my father's voice call to me. I turned to see him standing in the doorway looking to us. He was in a mood again.

"see you tomorrow Monika"

"yeah see you…" Her eyes were locked on him as she started walking away before staring straight ahead.

I didn't turn to see her go as I approached my door, but I saw her gazing back our way every now and then from the reflection on my dad's car.

"Who was that?" Dad asks me at the door.

"Monika, she's a friend form the reading club"

He steps aside to let me in.  
Shoulders square, eyes down, I walk in and hear the door locking behind me.

"How old is she?"

"um… _my_ _age_ … I guess" I shivered feeling a hand on my head.

"Your age huh?" He mutters. "And she's like a head taller than you" He mumbled giving me a pat as he walked me into the living room

"yeah I know" She wasn't _that_ much taller than me, but arguing would be pointless.

I start to feel him pulling on my school bag, so I put my arms back and hop out of the straps. I hear him unzip the top and looks through my books for a moment.  
So far things felt okay. Hoping to keep it that way, I back away towards the stairs so I could retreat to my room.  
On my way up I hear my bag emptying, but it doesn't matter all that much.  
He'll find text books and a few pens, certainly nothing I shouldn't have.  
Once in my room, I pull the clasps form my hair and set them on the dresser by my bed, next to go was the necktie along with my blazer and skirt before hanging them both up in my wardrobe.  
I slip into my leggings and a baggier shirt before laying on my bed to have another quick read of Ryuno's poem.  
Monika asked me to play nice, but at the way he's been so far her request might be easy to pull off.  
The stranger has reached out to me asking to be my friend, so shall I _pout_ next time I see him, or shall I welcome him?  
Decisions, decisions.  
In the end, I decided to sleep on it, but _after_ I retrieve my school books from down stairs and finish my homework.  
With the sound of the tv humming from below the floor, I leave my room and tiptoe down the stairs.  
I go completely unnoticed by dad as I pick my bag and my books off the couch.  
But then something catches my eye. Below where his jacket was draped over the armrest, a few coins were laying on the floor.  
I looked back to him. Dad's eyes were on the tv. I turn back to the coins. I drop to my knees to reach for them.

"Ugh Piss Off!" He suddenly yells as he throws his remote across the room.

With my heart pounding out my chest, I grab what I could from the floor before sneaking way with my bag and books. I didn't get much though... just something to add to the jar hidden under my bed.  
Back in my room, I return the books I didn't need to my bag and opened up the physics book and grab my notebook before jumping on my bed to go through it.  
I was just about to start work when a small _'buzz'_ sounded from inside my bag. We need to keep our phones in our lockers during school time, but for the club room I just have mine on silent.  
I reach in and find the screen glowing with a text that just came though now, but it was actually the last of three that were received in the minute while I was away;

 _Hey Natsuki. I meant to bring this up with the group but I was thinking that we should make the poem sharing a regular thing since most seemed to rely enjoy it. I'm asking you first because you seemed the most iffy with it all. What do you think?  
_ —  
 _*Really. (I meant to put)  
_ —  
 _ps, clubroom tomorrow is classroom 4 on the first floor. It's in the frigging Elementary block smh_

I reply back telling her that that class locations are getting ridiculous, and that I'd be okay with one more poem session if everyone else is.  
After sending that text to Monika, my physics book suddenly seemed as bland and lifeless as looking at the floor as all I could think about is what my next poem should be about.  
Now that I know that the others _are_ taking it seriously and I now have a small understanding of what kind of things they write, maybe it'll be easier for me to think of something really good.  
Something insightful, but Not too convoluted like Yuri's or Monika's.  
I roll over on my bedcovers with Ryuno's poem held between my fingers above my head.  
Most people would look at me today and want to stay away, judging a book by its cover, or letting one stain determine everything about the me.  
But he was nice. _He is nice._ But I don't think I'd be able to take a route of writing a poem _for_ him specifically like he did for me. If I did Sayori would just make fun of me again thinking I'm trying to be cute when I'm really not. Plus dad would kill me if he caught me writing a poem that so much as hinted that it was aimed towards a boy.

"This is hard…" I tell myself as I lay there, chewing my pencil and staring at the ceiling.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** By popular demand. The format of these chapters have been altered. You got your double spaces :P


End file.
